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emmahircine posts

A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.

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A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.

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🎥Want a simple video archive? Not fussed about lives🔴, rates..

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I had a job tying sausages together, but I couldn’t make end..

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I had a job tying sausages together, but I couldn’t make ends meat.

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My ex still misses me. But his aim is steadily improving mor..

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My ex still misses me. But his aim is steadily improving more and more each day. Huzzah!

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I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but the..

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I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

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eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and it gave ..

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eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and it gave me 13,749 matches.

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This one's only for the TRUE LATINA LOVERS 🍑emmabff FREE to ..

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I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his frie..

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I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. He was too clothes minded.

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My mate and his cross eyed wife ust got a divorce. He found ..

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My mate and his cross eyed wife ust got a divorce. He found out she was seeing someone on the side.

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Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.

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Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.

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I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is abou..

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I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen… I can feel it.

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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he..

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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

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Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave bro..

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Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

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You know how there's a theory that no two people see a colou..

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You know how there's a theory that no two people see a colour the exact same way?

Does that mean that the colour is a pigment of your imagination?

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A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

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A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

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I asked my French friend if she likes to play video games. S..

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I asked my French friend if she likes to play video games. She said, “Oui.”

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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coluoring. The ..

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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coluoring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

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Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race? It ended in..

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Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!

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What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer ..

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What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are two dollars, but deer nuts are under a buck.

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Doctor: “Sir, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards.” Me: “And?”

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Doctor: “Sir, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards.” Me: “And?”

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”Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in Franc..

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”Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.

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My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Semina..

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My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.

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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

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He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how a M..

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He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends...

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Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I’m excited..

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Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I’m excited to see how they turn out.

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A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dai..

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A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

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I'm thinking I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would..

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I'm thinking I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward

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What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided a..

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What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea? Their crews were marooned.

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