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I wanted to buy a camouflage shirt, but I didn’t see one.

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I wanted to buy a camouflage shirt, but I didn’t see one.

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Did you hear about that great new shovel? It’s ground breaki..

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Did you hear about that great new shovel? It’s ground breaking.

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The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

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The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

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I meant to look for my missing watch, but I could never fin..

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I meant to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

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Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.

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Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.

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I knew a woman who owned a taser. Man, was she stunning!

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I knew a woman who owned a taser. Man, was she stunning!

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What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?A chew-chew trai..

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What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?

A chew-chew train.

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Did you hear the rumour about butter?Never mind, I shouldn’t..

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Did you hear the rumour about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.

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Why did the bee get married?Because it found its honey!

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Why did the bee get married?

Because it found its honey!

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What kind of dogs love car races?Lap dogs.

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What kind of dogs love car races?

Lap dogs.

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The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on ..

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The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court,

the game would be canceled.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?To get to the other..

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

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Why did the tomato blush?It saw the salad dressing.

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Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing.

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What kind of pictures do turtles take?Shelfies.

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What kind of pictures do turtles take?

Shelfies.

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What do you call a crab that plays baseball?A pinch hitter.

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What do you call a crab that plays baseball?

A pinch hitter.

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What do bees do if they need a ride?They wait at the buzz st..

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What do bees do if they need a ride?

They wait at the buzz stop.

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How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.

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How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.

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What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos?A chipmunk.

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What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos?

A chipmunk.

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What do you call a fly with no wings?A walk.

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What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

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What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?You can tun..

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What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

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What a good little pup 🐶

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What a good little pup 🐶

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Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a c..

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Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.

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How do you make a water bed bouncier? Add spring water.

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How do you make a water bed bouncier? Add spring water.

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Why was the broom late to class? It over-swept.

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Why was the broom late to class? It over-swept.

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Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crumby.

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Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crumby.

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What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics.

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What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics.

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Dungeons and tiddies, I roll a D20 for my next move. Will yo..

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Dungeons and tiddies, I roll a D20 for my next move. Will you use eyes of charming to placate me or perhaps you have a different approach to besting me 😏

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What did the buffalo say when his kid went to uni? Bison.

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What did the buffalo say when his kid went to uni? Bison.

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